Don’t Worry About Being Liked

If I had a voodoo doll, it would’ve been saturated with pins!  There wasn’t a day that he didn’t frustrate me and, when I would confront him on his method, he’d say, “I’m not here to be your friend, Chip, I’m here to get a job done.”  I couldn’t argue with that logic.  And, even though he could be an ass, I still found him likeable.

Let’s face it, leading isn’t a popularity contest.  It can’t be.  There will be decisions that we make and tasks we give as leaders that are going to be ill received, bitched about, and tarried over.  However unpopular, they are the things that need to get done.  Too many leaders worry about being liked.  This can become an immobilizing force that keeps us from moving forward. And, as my Chief told me, we aren’t given the charge of leading to be friends….we’re given that responsibility because things need to get done.  He understood this and didn’t let the worry of being liked get in the way of mission.  Yet, I found him likeable and there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do when he asked.  Here’s why:

He was consistent.  I always knew what to expect.  His standards were high and I knew that if I brought him shoddy work, it would be returned.  He didn’t waive in his beliefs or how he wanted things done based on how the wind was blowing that day.

He communicated.  Not only did I know what I needed to do and what the expectation was, I knew what he knew.  He didn’t keep secrets and would hear me out on my logic when I was trying to explain something.

He cared.  I knew that he wanted me to succeed…that my success was, ultimately, his success.  Further, he took the time to know about my family.  If there was something on my mind, I could be sure it was on his mind too – both personal and professional.

He fostered cooperation.  There was never any room for inter-departmental backstabbing and politics.  Regardless of how we personally felt about each other, we had to work together if we were going to meet the expectation.  Additionally, he wasn’t too good to roll up his sleeves and work alongside us.

There’s a lot to be said for being liked.  In life, I like to be liked.  However, I feel that there’s a great divide between being liked and likeable.  Being liked as a leader is great as long as it doesn’t get in the way of getting things done.  So, don’t get hung up on it.  Not everything you do is going to be popular or well received.  You’re not always going to be liked…but, you can still be likeable!

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