Change It! (The Shoe Theory)

Shoe TheoryI don’t know about you but I can get frustrated when things don’t go the way I want or when people don’t meet my expectations.  During a “whine” session about this with one of my lifelong friends, Jennifer, many years ago about a particular boss, she offered her “shoe theory” as advice.

Jennifer had been in a long term relationship, however, liked to do things her own way.  One of her “own ways” of doing things was to take her shoes off wherever she liked in the house and just leave them.  This drove her beau crazy.  Being a Marine, he liked things neat, orderly, and in their place.  After months of frustration, he finally told her about how her shoes everywhere made him nuts.  She replied, “Look, that’s me.  If they bother you, move them.”

When she told me this story, it wasn’t to tell me how she was tough and wouldn’t give in to his demands but to tell me that, many times, we’re looking for people to go against their nature and conform to yours when we should (if something bothers us) take control of the situation and change it ourselves. (The Shoe Theory)

Since that day and our talk, I try to take a hard look at those situations where I might feel like someone is not living up to my standards or not meeting my expectations and ask myself, “Can I do something about this?”

How about you?  Are you waiting for someone else to meet your expectations and make you happy?  Can YOU take control?  If you can, do it!   You can’t change other people’s nature and control them but you can control your own attitude and behavior.  Get with it, get over it, or get out.

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